Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts

Thursday, July 4, 2013

That One Place

Via
Almost every morning on my way to work I get this special feeling...The feeling I had only in one place...On my vacations in Ukraine...

As I step outside afer a ride on the metro...it feels like I breathe in that south air again...I feel that breeze coming from the sea touching my face...The sun is not blinding yet but you feel  that it's gonna be a hot day....Every ray seems to fill my body....And I feel that familiar excitement:"Today I'm gonna have a great day!!"
 
But then I turn around the corner and realize that I just walked along a street...that one where car noise is making you deaf and buildings around just won't let you see the sun....
 
Guess someone is just daydreaming ))) Everyone needs some quality time spent on a beach ))))
 
*Почти каждое утро, по дороге на работу, в меня пробирается это особое, до боли знакомое чувство... То самое, которое у меня было только в одном месте - в Украине...

Я выхожу из метро, и будто вдыхаю южный воздух... Чувствую морской бриз, ласкающий лицо...Солнце еще не слепит, но уже чувствуется, что день будет жарким... Тело наполняется лучами солнца...И просыпается то знакомое чувство предвкушения отличного дня...

И тут я сворачиваю за угол и понимаю, что шла вдоль улицы, где шум машин оглушает, а из-за зданий вокруг солнца даже и не видно...

Кажется кто-то замечтался =))) Ну что ж, каждому нужно время от времени отдохнуть =))
  
 
Where did you/are you planning to go for vacation this year??
*А куда вы уже съездили или собираетесь поехать отдохнуть в этом году?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

A Burrito Of Sadness

Via Pinterest
What do you do and where do you go when you argue with someone???


I have a "strategy" for these cases.
Here it is:
1. Something happens: for example an argument
2. You get mad...YouI seriously do...
3. Here's one of the main points: You make that super mad and offended face so the other person realizes he/she did a reeeeally bad thing and hurt you really really bad
4. Here comes another important thing.... Go and find a place to hide.
Note: This should be a place where you can be easily found =)))
5. So then you sit there blaming yourself for how horrible you are =)))) Most likely even crying (pretend you're trying hard to make it quiet... but make sure it's loud enough to be heard)
6. Here comes that other person.... all sad and ashamed
7. You tell them to leave.... but inside every tiny part of you is begging this person to hug you and hold you reeeeeeaaal tight.... But no... You should fight this feeling and be stubborn!!
8. You might talk and you even forget what the argument was about.... But you still rememebr the fact that you were offended... So... just stay that way
9. Now.....Forget everything I just told you and don't make the same mistakes..... Be tolerant, don't let the dignity overwhelm you... and TALK!!! It helps in solving aaaaany problem!!!

And still I want to hear your "secret strategies" what you do at this kind of situations =))

*Что вы делаете и куда идете, когда с кем-то поругались?

На такие случаи у меня есть целая "стратегия":
1. Что-то случается: например, вы с кем-то поругались
2. Вы злитесь.... правда злитесь...
3. А вот теперь один из самых важных пунктов: Вы делаете такое лицо, по которому отчетливо можно прочитать, на сколько вы злы и обижены, такое, что второй человек понимает, что сделал очень-очень плохо и оооооооочень сильно вас задел
4. Вот еще очень важный аспект: Уйдите и найдите место, где спрятаться 
Oчень важно: Это должно быть такое место, где вас можно легко найти =)))
5. И вот теперь вы сидите и вините себя, какие вы ужасные =)))) Скорее всего даже плачете (Притворитесь, что пытаетесь плакать тихо, но убедитесь что плачете достаточно громко, чтобы вас услышали) 
6. И вот приходит тот самый человек... весь такой грустный... ему стыдно...
7. И вы говорите ему оставить вас в покое... Но в глубине души каждая крошечная частичка вас просто умоляет его/ее вас крепко-крепко обнять... Но нет!!! Боритесь с этим чувством и стойте на своем!!!
8. Вы скорее всего попробуете поговорить.... и вы даже забудете, из-за чего ругались... Но вы все еще помните тот факт, что на что-то обиделись.... Так что... не упускайте это чувство!! 
9.Теперь.... Забудьте все, что я вам только что сказала и не совершайте тех же ошибок.... Будьте терпимы, не позволяйте гордыне поглотить вас.... и ГОВОРИТЕ!!!! Это помогает решить любуууууую проблему!!! 

И все же хотелось бы услышать ваши "секретные тактики действий" в таких ситуациях =)))

Monday, February 11, 2013

Challenging Yourself

This picture was stuck in my head for like a month or even more....
*Вот эта картинка никак не выходила у меня из головы где-то месяц или даже больше

Via


I've been thinking a lot about it lately... 
I remember my school years and how many times I had to challenge myself.... Sometimes... well... actually most of the time I had to make an effort to not fail.... But sometimes I made effort to be the best.... And that was the greatest feeling.... I was completely satisfied with who I was... 
I was good at English, Math and PE... so I tried really hard to be as best as I can at these things... I still remember that great feeling when I was even better than some guys at PE classes, when a math teacher pointed at me as an example, when friends asked me to help them with their English.... 

And then bam-bigah-boom (I just made it up =)) ) the school was over... 
Here comes the emptiness in life.... Even though my life was filled with a lot of emotions and changes a huge part of me was missing.... I was a mess... 

After coming across this picture I kept on thinking that I need to challenge myself to make things happen and to not just dream about them... 
I figured that I should challenge myself to stop being a lazy bum and start doing things that I've longed to do for years!!!
I should challenge myself to be better... to be better in sooo many spheres... like being a wife, cooking, crafting, photography, keeping my body healthy and a million other things... 

But first of all...
I need to challenge myself to finally start challenging myself =))))))))) 

* Много думала на эту тему... вспоминала школьные годы... Вспоминала те времена, когда приходилось прикладывать много усилий... В основном для того, чтобы не облажаться.... А иногда я сильно старалась, чтобы быть лучшей в чем-то... Мне хорошо давались математика, английский и физкультура... И какое же это великолепное чувство, когда на физ-ре у меня были результаты даже лучше, чем у некоторых парней, когда учитель по алгебре ставила меня в пример и когда друзья просили помочь им с английским...

А потом бац.... и учеба закончилась...
Вот тут-то и приходит пустота.... Хоть жизнь и была наполнена различными эмоциями и многое изменилось.... Тем не менее чего-то мне очень сильно не хватало.... Я была не я...
После того, как наткнулась на картинку, все думаю о том, что нужно, так сказать, бросить себе вызов и перестать только мечтать о чем-то..... нужно это осуществлять...
Поняла. что нужно заставлять себя прекращать уже быть такой лентяйкой и начать делать вещи, которыми я мечтала заняться уже много-много лет!!
Нужно стараться быть лучше во многих сферах жизни..как, например, в семейной жизни, готовке, рукоделии,фотографии и куче других...

Но сперва...
Мне нужно заставить себя "бросать вызов" самой себе =)))))

What helps you to start doing things you've always wanted to try? What gives you strength to not give up and keep on doing things? And what are the spheres you challenge yourself most?
* Что помогает вам начать делать вещи, которые всегда хотели попробовать? Что дает вам силу не сдаваться и продолжать делать что-то? И в каких сферах вам приходится прикладывать больше всего усилий?

Thursday, January 31, 2013

My Last Visit to Yaro or 7 Proofs I'm a Clutz

What do you feel when you come to your hometown? Are you happy there or do you want to run away? Do you feel like yourself or like you're in a different world? 

On Sunday I went to Yaroslavl, my hometown... And I'm still not sure how I feel about my last visit.. 
It great to get to see the family and spend time with them... It's great to walk around the city and see how all the street and buildings I grew up surrounded by change year after year... 
But whenever I come I realize why I longed so bad to run away...Why I was so depressed and lonely there....
Now.... after living in Moscow for a few years... and spending the last year being loved... with no fights...no breakdowns... no stress... everything is clear...
This visit to Yaro helped me understand what made me such a grumpy bum =))) Why I was depressed most of the time and why I always hid in my room from the outer world...
What have I seen during my visit?? Not much.... Mostly just grumbles and arguments.. 
My family is not perfect and we have lots of problems and make tons of mistakes... But I still try my best to love each and every member of my family...
The weirdest thing about visiting Yaro is that whenever I get back I feel like I'm a teenager again... No self-confidence, no self-dependence, feeling ugly and being a clutz again =))) 

Ok... enough of whining and complaining... The best part of my visit was my morning walk along the embankment =)))) *Pictures are below*


* Что вы чувствуете, когда приезжаете в свой родной город? Вы там счастливы или же хочется убежать? Остаетесь ли вы самой/мим собой или же кажется, что попали в совсем другой мир?

В воскресенье ездила в свой родной город - Ярославль... И как-то все не могу толком разобраться, какие чувства оставила у меня эта поездка...
Видеть семью и проводить с ними время всегда здорово... Здорово видеть, как год за годом меняются улицы и дома, среди которых я росла.. 
Но каждый раз, как я туда приезжаю, становится понятно, почему я так жаждала уехать... почему мне было так одиноко... почему всегда пребывала в состоянии некой депрессии...
Теперь, пожив в Москве пару лет...а особенно проведя последний год будучи любимой... без ссор...срывов... стресса... все становится на свои места...
Эта поездка в Яро помогла мне понять, что же сделало из меня такую ворчучу =)))) Почему постоянно депрессировала и пряталась у себя в комнате от внешнего мира... 
Что же я увидела за эту поездку?? Да особо ничего... В основном ворчания и споры...
Моя семья не идеальна, у нас много проблем и мы делаем много ошибок... Но я все еще стараюсь любить каждого члена своей семьи...
А самое странное, что каждый раз, когда я приезжаю, чувствую себя там подростком... Никакой самоуверенности, никакой самостоятельности.. опять ощущаю себя страшненькой... и из рук все валится=))))))))

Ладно ладно... Хватит ныть и жаловаться =))) Лучшей частью поездки стала прогулка по набережной.. *Фотографии ниже*


 







P.S. Talking about being a clutz. Results of my visit:
1. Broke a photo frame
2. Broke my cell-phone
3. Broke mom's favorite mug
4. Broke toilet cistern
5. My lil' sis broke her cell-phone charger (blame my aura =))) )
6. Almost broke mom's account on Instagram or maybe I did...who knows =)) I didn't check back =)) 
7. Mom's flash card just wouldn't work when I was trying to use it (of course it worked just fine before)

Aaaaaall in one day =)))))) 

* P.S. Ну уж раз начали говорить о том, что я растяпа... Вот итоги моей поездки:
1. Разбила фото-рамку
2. Сломала свой сотовый
3. Разбила мамину любимую кружку
4. Сломала бачок унитаза
5. У мелкой сломалась зарядка для телефона (вините во всем мою ауру =))) )
6. Почти сломала мамин аккаунт на Instagram... А может и сломала.. кто знает... я больше не проверяла =))) 
7. Мамина флешка просто отказывалась работать у меня (конечно раньше она работала без проблем)

И всееееее за один день =))))))

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Lately. Exhausted

I know it's been forever since I last posted anything... but really my life has been crazy these months so I didn't have time at all... 
I spent August and half of September babysitting my 'lil sis.... Oh... It'd been sooooo tiring and exhausting...
Actually my sister is considered to be a perfect child.... BUT (!!!) only when mom is near =))))) 
Whenever that's just 2 of us....that means no respect, no listening, crying, yelling, being naughty and constantly saying "No I won't" to whatever I say... 
Being an elder sister is soooo much harder than being a mom!!!!! It's even a million times harder when you have a character like mine =)))) I get super mad and irritated easily... 
But having my 'lil sis I learned to be more patient and take things easy... It's still hard...
Whenever I have relatives around they say that I'm the one who's bringing up Masha and that I'm the one who's always there for her... that I'm doing much more for her than mom.... Well.... That's true in some way... I'm definitely the one who spends much more time with Masha than anyone else. 
But... I'm just a sister so the attitude for me is different... Sometimes I wish she loved and respected me as much as mom. Mom says I should deserve that respect but really I have no idea what else I should do for her to start listening to me. 
No, I'm not complaining.... No matter how hard it is I still love it... All this time together made us even closer. Tons of kisses and hugs, lots of laughter =)))
The only thing I hope for most is that for her I won't be "Oh, that strict sister that spoiled my childhood" one =)))) As far as I'm the one she loves I'll love every second spent with her =))))) 

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Bounty Hunter, When In Rome and Remember Me

Yup.... a movie post again...=)))
Let's start with The Bounty Hunter


Eeeeehhhmmmm...... this movie isn't really worth mentioning... Thought it'd be cool but it kinda sucked....Ad it actually got lots of negative reviews..Really, all I can say about this movie after watching is that Jennifer Aniston has cool boobs =))) Really, that might be just a push-up bra but they are awesome =))))) And another thing is .... Gerard Butler is overrated... Just a muscular guy with his hair dyed being a bad a$$... Planning on watching a few more movies with him, we'll see maybe they'll change my mind about him =))) 

Ok... Next movie to mention is When In Rome

Oh.... I LOVED it!!!!!! Why? Cuz this movie makes you believe in fairy-tales again =))) It makes you smile, it makes you laugh, it makes you happy =)))) It gives you that sort of butterflies that a good romantic movie usually does =)) Both actors fit the movie just perfectly =))) Kristen Bell is SUCH a cutie =)))))) And her smile is like one of the most beautiful ever =))) Josh Duhamel..... I was totally shocked when I figured he's 37!!!! Cuz he looks like he's 20-something (Well... max 32) =)))))) And I gotta admit he's a very handsome man =))))))) 
All I can say about the movie... You gotta add it to your "must watch" list =))))) I'm gonna watch it again and again with years I'm sure =)))))) 

And the last one for today - Remember Me


Finished watching it just a few minutes ago... I heard a lot about this movie from people like that it's super intense and it made them kinda shocked and gave lots of thoughts.... So I expected a really good drama... Unfortunately that wasn't as much of it as I hoped.... 
For me this whole movie was about this little girl:


She was great and I was sincerely sorry for her during the whole movie... She's an adorable kid... 
When watching there was a feeling that just wouldn't leave me.... Something was going to happen!!! I was pretty sure someone was going to commit a suicide or die somehow... Well... if you watched it - you know the end....
Last 5 minutes of the movie - tears =))) 
I was glad to see Robert Pattinson in a serious movie... Nothing of that creepy Edward from the Twilight!!! Well.... only super dirty hair =))) Anyway the movie made me look at him in a bit different way =))) 
This movie did make me think of a few things... It showed me how much an elder brother can love his 'lil sis... That love was the main thing that touched me in this movie. For him his sis was like everything in the world, for whom he'd do anything... no matter what it takes...That's an amazing thing!!! I've always dreamed of and elder brother ((((( 
Next thing is that I wish I loved to read.... I really hate reading but I really want to start it and be absorbed by books and all that stuff..... well... I do read much more nowadays than before =)))) 
And the last thing is that I need a hobby =)))) That little girl inspired me =))) I really wish I had smth that I could express myself in...something that would be all me... I want to create...I want it to show what I am.... I just can't find it ((( I feel like I have no talents at all.... 
So.... I guess everyone who gets to watch this movie gets their own impression.... And I think it gives a million different thoughts to people, it's just that they are different for each of us. 

Sunday, August 15, 2010

A Lesson In Kindness From Zachary Levi




This article
 touched me today when I read it. It reminded me how kids in school laughed at me. And even though I now realize why they did it I still can't really get over it.

And the fact that Zach wrote Bailey trying to support makes me respect and admire him even more...And I really loved that quote in the article:
"We cannot learn from one another until we stop shouting at one another – until we speak quietly enough so that our words can be heard as well as our voices."

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Father

"Maybe I shouldn't look for anyone else...
I think your father was the one"
-Mom 


I really don't know what I should start from but I told myself that I would make this post about my father on this day... 
07.07.2001 - My father drowned at the age of 34...

A short father's story...
His life wasn't the easiest one...He grew up in a country-side... As far as I know his father drank and he lost him when he was a kid. Grandpa came home drunk or smth and somehow hit his head. That was the end. 
In teen years dad was a sort of a DJ in a local club... That's where he met my mother. They got married when they were 20. I was born then... As a kid I was absolutely sure that my parents made a perfect match. I remember it clearly when I walked into a room and they were watching TV cuddling... That was the feeling... of that complete harmony and love they had. That is what I dream to be for my kids....None of them drank or smoke or even swore.. Both were teachers. But when father stopped working in school he got some not very good friends who he started drinking and smoking with... In 1996 my parents got divorced. Back then I didn't really realize how bad it was cuz I still got to see dad often and spent much time with him. In a while he got the second wife and they even had a son, my half-brother. But they got divorced too. After that father started drinking even more... he had a lot of anger inside so he fought a lot. On summer of 2001 he drowned. He hit his head in water. 


Thoughts....
My whole life father had been the closest to me. I didn't really realize it back then but he would always try to share things with me, even ask for advice though I was just a kid. He completely trusted me. 
A month before his death we walked together and he told me:
"Natashka, I'm so tired of everything. I don't wanna live anymore. I'll probably commit a suicide or smth"
All I could tell is that he was crazy... 
A month later mom came to me and asked if I knew what a hard life father had those last years.... And that moment everything became so clear..... So I just asked "He died?".... and the answe was "Yes"...................... 

For a few years after his death I always talked and remembered him with a smile on my face... It was easy for me to talk about him... Cause I knew that was better for him.... that he felt so much better up there in heaven. ... But these last years.... I can't... All I've got is tears and tears.... It's probably selfish but I want him back  soooooo bad.... I need him sooo much.... It's way too hard to live without him.... I remember him saying with tears in his eyes that I was the most imporatnt thing on Earth for him..... And I always could feel it... He cared about me like no one ever did... No matter what he was the perfect dad.... He was an example for me....He was the most important person for me...... 

I'm gonna miss so many things about him.... 
All of the hot-dogs we got to eat..... All of the movies we got to watch together...especially Mortal Combat =)))) How we went to buy him jeans and he asked for my advice.... Since then I prefer only a certain quality of jeans...I remember how huge his pants always were... he always kept them on a chair hack.. How we got to walk a lot and talk... How he was the only one who called me Natalia.... I don't like to be called this way at all... but he was the only one who could say it in a strict and manly voice and I would still love it... How much he cared of me and how he would always stand for me.... How we got to play and watch football a lot... He was the one who taught me to love beautiful football... How I went to visit him all the time after the divorce... How we played video games together...  How he cried because I saw him all bruised and swollen 'cause he faught the day before that... There are a million more things that I always keep in my heart and that remind me of him.... 

Sometimes I wonder what he would think of me today... What he would say about the choices I made and still make.... And sometimes I'm afraid he wouldn't approve the life I live....All I know for sure is that he's a better part for me.... He gave and taught me all the best things I have.... 

There are 2 songs reminding me of my dad.... I always cry listening to them when I'm alone...

Matt Willis - Me And Your Mother

Brian McFadden - He's No Hero

P.S. You may think I shouldn't have posted all these things... But I did that for myself... I needed that.... and now I feel much better having done it... 


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Friendship


There are so many songs about friendship...and what true friend really is. But have you ever actually had one like that? I'm pretty sure some of you have.... 
Here are 2 of my favorite songs about being a true friend.(If you don't really speak English - find lyrics)

McFly - You've Got A Friend (Can't remember who sang the original, but I like this one more)

Faber Drive - I'll Be There ( feat. Jessie Farrell)
(It's probably a song how your lover would support you, but for me it's a song about friendship)

Unfortunately I hate to admit it but I've never had a friend like in these songs. I don't have anyone who could be there for me whenever I'm down or in trouble.I don't have a friend I could call in the middle of the night.I don't have a friend who I could talk to about anything in the world, who would listen to me with understanding and support. Well.... All I want to say is that I feel like in the second song but don't have that kind of person to be there for me...
Aaron always tells me that I've got him and that I shouldn't be in such a despair. But oh well.... everyone needs a friend... I just feel like I need it now like never before..

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Grandma...



This is a pic of me and my grandma taken 4 years ago... It was the first and the last time we took a picture together as far as I remember... She passed away on the 26th of April in 2008. These last days I've been thinking a lot about her and blaming myself. I feel like I hadn't been a good granddaughter at all. 
She had had a really hard life. First of all she lost her husband still being young... Then her mom and brother died.... And in the end the worst thing happened... she lost her only child... my father... He drowned in 2001. 
Afther his death it had been super hard for her.And I blame myself for not visiting her much. I should have, I know.... I could try to justify myself, but that's not worth it... 
At least now I understand my mistake and hope I'll have a chance to say I'm sorry...
For now I'm gonna miss a huge plate of mashed potato and a big mug of sweet tea she made for me every time... and always fresh bread...
Unfortunately only now I understand that I love and miss my grandma.......... 

Friday, March 19, 2010

There Should Always Be Best Friends

That's weird how life can change...I remember when I was a kid I had been kind of a leader among the kids around me... in the kindergarten... in primary school... There were people who wanted to be like me... There were people who I had to kind of "contest" with to be a leader. But being a leader is not that good cuz there are lots of people around who want to be your friend but none really is. 
I'm pretty sure I got my first real best friend in the 3rd grade. Her name was Masha. She was new in my class and we also found out that we were neighbours. She seemed so much smarter and wiser than me.So we got to hang out together every day.Our handwritings looked almost the same and she could easily copy mine, so she did some of my homework so we could go play outside sooner =)))) Then I changed school and she moved to another city. We were kids so we failed to keep in touch... 
In the new school it was hard... I got used to be a leader so I tried to get along with "peeps on top"... I got tired of them soon though... All those money, outfit and other talks that would show how rich your family is. So I got to hang out with this girl, named Masha (not the first one =) ). Really, I look back and get so many great memories of how we laughed all classes long, helped each other with homework. I helped her with English, she helped me with Chemistry. Even after I changed school again we still were best friends. She tells me sometimes things like "I remember I used to come home from school and thought "Natasha's gonna call any minute" and then you called"... We shared absolutely everything with each other. We had been best friends for 8 years until we somehow lost what we had. And since then we call each other a few times a year and say how much we miss all those times. We always try to fix everything but fail every time. I really hope that this year we'll manage to bring things back and I'll be able to say that we've been best friends for over 12 years =)


This was my 17th Birthday.The last year we got to spend time together.After that we only got to say "Hi" in the streets. 

In 2006 I got to know a guy named Sasha. My first impression wasn't the best. I thought he was arrogant and a kind of "mr-know-all". And whenever we got to play Frisbee I felt like he hated me and and never gave me a pass or threw frisbee the way I'd drop it =))) Then in summer 2007 he asked if I had MSN and we began to spend hours chatting.I figured all of his dirty secrets =)))))))) And it was always great when he needed my support =))) We got to hang out together every once in a while. For now it's been like half a year or even more since we last really talked... But!!!! Yesterday we got to chat on Facebook and that made me soooo happy!!!! )))))) I really miss seeing him (espicially since he's living in Moscow) and talking to him. He's one of those who probably knows me better than I do and can always foresee how I'll act or he can say how I feel very acсurately without me even really realizing it yet =))) So today again I'm full of hope that things will work out well and we'll keep in touch. 



My favorite pic of me and Sashka

For all my life there were very few people I really feel sad I lost...now there are not many people I never want to lose. And I can tell for sure Masha and Sashka are among the most important people in my life!!! Love them!!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"Am I getting old?" or "Shattered Dreams"


Wow.... I haven't updated my blog for 2 months by now... Crazy!! And to tell the truth it took me a long while to think of what to write this time. I usually have lots of thoughts in my head... But...This time I've got only one... and it's not very optimistic.
What I've been thinking of is that I'm turning 22 this year and somehow it feels like I'm getting so old =)))) I'm serious!!!!
I look around and see all these people of my age getting engaged, married... making a family... Lots of people of my age having a good job or even a career already and all stuff like this..
I look at my life and see that I haven't moved at all... Nothing really changed since I was 15-17..
But now everything in my head, everything I feel is so exaggerated..
- I always hoped that if I ever get married it would be at 20 or max 21...
- I thought that studying English and French would be so exciting... But I got soooo disappointed with the level of education they give us in university. Plus it's all sooo boring and now I totally suck at both English and French.
- I'm tired of living with mom. I really want to move on and start living an "adult life".
- But it's impossible with no "real job".. And I can't get any now cuz I'm still a full-time student.
- My life is friggin boring!!! It really is.. Every day is the same with nothing excited in it.
- I need inspiration.. I long for it... I need it like a drug... But it just never comes.. I want to create, I want to write again.. I want any thing that would make me feel alive.
- I want to have a reason to look nice every day... But now I just don't care.. I don't wanna dress up for uni cuz I'm just sick of this place .. and I never go out... But sometimes I just want to put some lovely dress and go out and feel free, feel nice, feel alive (again)..
Really this list can go on forever but it's more like a list of complaints... I really needed to put it down though.. Hopefully that'll make me feel better cuz all these thoughts absorb my mind these days and it doesn't make me any good.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Being A Rockstar...



"Being a rockstar is like being God: people love and follow you, but still there are those who just won't listen to you and those who are too blind to see how good you really are won't get it until they see you live" - Me


This thought had been spinning around in my head for a few hours yesterday...


Saturday, November 28, 2009

Shopping...


Really... It's impossible to go shopping with me!!! I never like anything )))) So whenever I go shopping with mom with the aim to buy something for ME... we always end up with me waiting for her and leaving a mall with a whole bunch of stuff for HER ))))
And that's what happened today again )))) We went shopping for shoes for me... But ended up with mom saying "Have a seat!! It'll take me long" =))) So we left that place with 2 pairs of shoes for mom and... NONE for me )))))))))))
Then we dropped in another place though and I came across these lovely 15$ shoes and loved them ))))))))


Now they are mine )))))

While waiting for mom I watched other people choosing shoes and I got pretty much surprised how shoes you choose show your personality. Like there was a woman there who tried the weirdest ever shoes on... But having a whole look of her I could see why she chose all of those weird shoes.. That expressed her cheerful view of life, creative and cheerful nature.
Then there was a pregnant woman choosing purple boots. She obviously loved that colour cuz her jacket had lots of purlple shades too ))) And the shoes she chose seemed comfortable which is necessary when you're pregnant ))))
My mom: always trying some high heels on. Nothing peculiar. Just beautiful classic shoes. And that's totally like her. Always womanly, loving order in everything.... Just look at any calssic high heels shoes and you'll get what I mean.
Next girl: Choosing shoes pretty much reminding what she was already wearing. I think that shows that she is loyal and is looking for stability in life.
And finally me: I never know what I want )))) If i had a chance I'd wear converse or skater style shoes all the time. But that's not right. A girl should be a girl. And knowing it I sometimes love high heels and some lovely girly shoes. So I can never decide what style I really wanna have. And I guess that all means I'm still looking for myself.

Ha.. Ok.. Guess this post was way boring )))) So I should better finish for now ))))

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Can't wait for school to be over...


Hahaha.... I really can't ))))) This is the last year for me and I graduate in June... But gosh!!! I just can't concentrate on studying!!! I almost don't do homework anymore )))) And I skip school way too much )))) I'm still wondering how in the world they haven't kicked me out yet ))))
Poor English teacher.... She sees me like 0nce in 2 weeks or so ))))) Every week I promise myself that the next week is gonna be the one with no skipping at all... But guess what??? That just doesn't work and I start skipping since Monday ))))))))))
The only class I regret to skip is French... But I skip it only cuz I don't have enough time to do homework and don't wanna feel like a loser at the class... The French teacher is really cool that's why I always feel ashamed when skipping... But oh well... I know I gotta be better )))
I'll try to.... ha.. I'm already planning on skipping most of the classes tomorrow )))) I have only a month left in this term though.. So maybe next one with less skipping??? ))))))))) Can I handle that??? Hahaha.. I don't think so ))))))))))


Monday, November 2, 2009

Halloween Time


So this year my Halloween totally sucked… basically cuz I didn’t do anything =((( They didn’t let us do anything at the Branch… And no one really offered me anything that day.
That’s ashame, cuz this very year I was really excited and wanted to dress up as smth…I even asked mom “Let’s just dress up and have fun!!!” but she doesn’t like this holiday only cuz of the fact it’s a day of all the dead.
This day is getting more and more popular in Russia. And this year Yaro teens made some cool stuff… They danced Michael Jackson’s Thriller in the streets and in a mall )))))
Here’s a video from the main street of my city!!! )))

Well… Even though I didn’t get my treat this year I checked out lots of Halloween pictures on Facebook and other blogs. Most of the pictures I came across were of in love couples dressed up in “couple costumes”. That made me think what I would do…But I’ll let you know my choice at the end ))))
Let me show you first some pictures of random couples )))))
I have no idea why but at least 3 couples were these:
Alli and Danny

Jeremy and Shanna

Just a random couple from Facebook … Have no idea what their names are )))


One of my favorite couples Mckenzie and Mikey were David and Victoria Beckham this year:



Christian and Hayley have always been creative ))))




Ok… A few more couples:
Polumna and her husband (some Facebook couple I have in my Friends list) =))))


Natacha Peyre and Dhani Lennevald:


Natacha with some couple:



I think I’d look really hot in Natacha’s costume, huh??? )))))))))))


Oh… And I just can’t help putting THIS PIC:


This guy has probably the most awesome costume!! )))))))))
But ok.. Here’s MY CHOICE!!!!
If it were up to me to choose a “couple costume” …. That would be Bonnie and Clyde!!!


I know, I’m not creative… But for some reason I really want to be them for at least one night =)))) Maybe next year =)))))))

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